lamhey...

  aaj bhi wo adhoore lekh poore nhi kar paai... ya yun kahu ki mein samay nahi de pati? 

     Kitni ajeeb baat hai na..........  jo bhi kuch mein likhti hun sochti hun , ye jaanti tak nahi ki isko koi padhta bhi hoga ya isko likhne se kya hoga .. bas likh deti hun kyunki mera mann kehta hai.... Ek time aisa tha jab Maine har jagah apne aapko akela paaya, pata nahi kyu? Hazaaron ki bheedh bhi mujhe akela kar jati ... aur ho bhi kyu na? Mera sapna , mera khwaab , sab mere hi rahe kisi se isko share karne ki koshish bhi nahi ki.. Lagta tha shayad saamne wala mujhe pagal ya ajeeb ladki na kahey .... haha ... arreeyy ab hun to insaan hi saamne waley ki soch tak pahunchne ki koshish kabhi nahi ki isliye Hazaaron ki bheedh sirf bheedh hi lagi koi bhi friend ya koi bhi family member wo jagah le hi nahi paaya..... 

     Shayad ab mein ye kabhi nahi keh sakti .... kyunki Hazaaron ki bheedh ki zarurat mujhe nahi.. shayad mujhe sirf ek wahi khawab ki talaash thi jo sirf mere liye hi ek haqeeqat ban jaye .... :)  Zindagi bahut hi khubsurat ehsaas hai sach... achchi buri sab situation aapko kuch seekh de kar jaati hai.. Doston se door ek nayi zindagi sochna bhi mushkil lagta hai per baad me sab achcha lagta hai, shayad ishwar ne humare liye kuch na kuch achcha socha hi hota hai... aur agar aise me saath ho kisi apne ka to kuch bhi mushkil nahi.... Har koi muskurana chahta hai ,, chahey wo doston se sath ho ya family member ke sath.... Muskurana aa jata hai...

       Shayad mere liye best part yahi raha... mujhe mauka mila apne aapko apno ko kareeb se jaan'ne ka , ek special duniya ko jaan'ne ka... aur mere liye best best best pal yahi raha....Ye bhi nahi janti ki har buri situation ko face karne ki himmat mujhme kaise aa jati hai... shayad apno ka pyaar ya ek smile.. koi gham nahi kabhi kisi baat ka ab... kyunki maine apne khwaab ko haqeeqat bante jiya hai... aur zindagi ne itna khubsurat mod liya ki jahan bhi chalu waha sirf ek special ehsaas hai... ek special ehsaas.... jise me shabdon me bayaan kabhi nahi kar paungi... yahi kahungi meri zindagi aur us special ehsaas se mujhe bahut pyaar hai...  meri zindagi ne mujhe itna pyaara gift dia ,, mein hamesha us ehsaas ki respect karti hun aur karti karungi.... :)

Sushmita.....

Aise Na Jaao- (2)

फलक की गोद में छुप-छुप  यूँ चाँद झाँक रहा है

देखो तो ज़रा वो मन ही मन धीमे से मुस्कुरा रहा है
कुछ सर्द है, मदहोश है 

मेरे ख्याल में आज भी वही दिन है  

"falak ki god me chup-chup yun chand jhaank raha hai

dekho to zara , wo mann hi mann dheeme se muskura raha hai

kuch sard hai, madhosh hai

mere khayal me aaj bhi wahi din hai" 

   Haan agar is waqt mere paas ek piano hota to mein zarur play karti.... jab bhi mein udaas hoti hun to instrumental music sunti hun....  mujhe sab se zyada instrumental music isliye pasand hai kyunki isko sunte time mera khud ka apna khayal sath hota hai... jo mein soch rahi hun wo dhun ke sath soch sakti hun... Bas kuch time akele rehna chahti hun :'(

      Aaj yaad aata hai apna pehla blog post .. nahi janti thi kya likhna hai, kaise likhna hai, Blog me kya likha jata hai..... ? Bas likh dia... yaad aata hai "AISE NA JAAO" 

      << http://www.sushmita-kuchbaatein.blogspot.in/2009/11/aise-na-jaao_19.html>>

     aakhiri line ko phir aage badhaate huey , mein phir se us jagah aa gayi jahan se maine shuruwaat ki thi..... 

"uljhi hui apne hi khayalon me waha se chalne lagi, AUR HAMESHA KI TARHA PHIR KUCH ADHURA ADHURA REH GYA..
mann kehta reh gaya AISE NA JAAO........ " 

       mein wapas aa to gayi thi us din per adhurey alfaaz, adhurey pal hamesha mujhe wahi le jate hai.. us din bhi mann nahi kiya tha wapas aane ka ... per kaafi waqt hone ki wajah se aana padha... Kyu aisa nahi hota ki samay ko rok sakey. lamhey to aankhon me basa kar apne paas hamesha ke liye rakh lete hai per phir se jeena chahe to ...... waqt ijaazat nahi deta.... badi berukhi si malum padhti hai....

       jab bhi do pal khush hoti hun to aansu baha aati hun, dil kehta hai wo lamha apne sath hi mujhe baha le jaye. phir khamosh... umeed to har koi karta hi hai... jab bhi jaan'na chahu apne dil ko to aankhein band kar leti hun... aur pahunch jati hun ek achche khayal me... ek sukoon hai sach..... ye to mein zaahir kar nahi sakti, per sach hai.. keh to sakti hun.. 

      khamosh hun aaj, phir se wahi jana chahti hun,, is baar rangey huey panno ko palatna nahi chahti,, balki korey panne rangna chahti hun... jahan waqt, tufaani hawa, tej lehrein sab mere sath ho aur sath hi mera sukoon bhi... 

     aaj mein khudh se apni khamoshi se door hona chahti hun,, jisse aane wali subha in sabhi ke sath mujhe wahi sukoon wapas lauta de.....aaj bas isi umeed ke sath jaa rahi hun .... abhi phir se wahi awaaz sunai di "AISE NA JAAO" .. mera mann phir se wahi in sab ke beech reh gya...

Sushmita.....